Reminiscence

Harder I try to control The more it pushes. I try to shift my focus to my goal The pain inside me dwells. I have tried to curb, to destroy and distract, I failed each time and each time I fell harder. Tried to pretend it was not there, But the pain persisted and I grew madder. Ghosts of my past seem to haunt, Memories of the days lost in my memory. They push me and taunt, Acts of maim, forgiveness and treachery. This hole it has created, This crater that cannot be filled. I cannot get used to the pain But this sense of familiarity it has built. Should I let time choose the path for me? For I cant think when I am so hurt. Will I get over this pain I have Or will it make me bite the dirt.